18 August, 2009

The hoops one must jump through

To hunt zombies in The Land of Lincoln.

From the CZ Forum Site;

I live in Illinois so the Zombie abatement referendum ZAR-56 rules require that any Zombie that forcefully breaks into my home must be actively attempting to bite myself or one of my family members before any type of action is taken which might cause harm to the Zombie.

I must say in a loud clear voice "Leave now Zombie, I understand that you are underprivileged and only looking for food but you have invaded the quarters of a private citizen and I ask you now that you please leave our humble abode" this must be repeated three times.

If after the 3rd warning the Zombie has not retreated I may then fire a warning shot. If after 5 seconds the warning shot has not deterred the Zombies advances I may fire to wound the Zombie in one of it's appendages limited to either one hand, not to be the predominate hand the Zombie uses to write checks to the democratic party election fund or in either shin no less then 3 inches above one foot but no closer then 15" below the knee. I must then wait for a minute to see if the wounding shot has taken any effect.

If after a minute the Zombie persists I may then take a killing shot provided I fill out form A-325 sections 3 through 47 in triplicate, have said forms notarized before 2 witnesses one of which must be a Zombie unrelated the Zombie that is involved in the altercation, mail 2 copies of form A-325 off to Springfield and wait for my Zombie termination license to arrive at which time the license must be approved by the local police department.

So, yeah, I got that going for me, which is nice.

This is full of WIN covered in AWESOMESAUCE!!!

1 comment:

Tip of the Chain said...
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